What's Mine is Theirs

   

   
          It starts by you sharing your body...and it never stops.  You give your baby a safe place to grow and develop and you might even think that after they are born that you get it back...but the answer to that is no.  Especially if
you nurse which takes what I am talking about to a whole other level (which I will save for another day).  And as they get bigger and go through different stages the situation just continues.  You share everything...your time, your energy, your food, your love...everything and anything they can get their little hands or hearts onto or into or whatever.  They don't even have to touch it!  They can just see it or sense it or know it exists and the claim has been struck.
     Before kids you probably took for granted the time that was yours to do something for yourself. And I am not even talking about painting your toes, or maybe reading a book.  Luxuries aside,  I am talking about sharing the time and energy that you once could devote to accomplishing simple survival tasks.  Like eating for example.
     Who knew that the simple pleasure of enjoying a meal was to be no more the moment you had a child.  No more warm food because no matter how hard you try, some little person always seems to have an urgent, pressing need expressed through cries right at the moment you sit down to eat.  And no more enjoying every bite to yourself - oh no! - little eyes see that plate of sweet goodness and nuzzle up for their bite which quickly turns into many bites and now it's gone...did I even get a bite?  I guess I will just lick the fork.  What I can't figure out is why all moms are not just skinny-minnies when most the food on our plates does not even make it into our mouths!  And what about drinking clear, clean water or any beverage for that matter?  That is a story from the past.  Now little food boogies float at the top of all your liquids as you share your drink with that sweet smile adorned with crumbs that always find their way into the cup.  When it comes to eating or drinking, you now share it all.   There is no such thing as "My cup" or "My dinner" or "My piece of double chocolate cake...".  You get the point.
    It is not a secret that as a mother you will give up sleep and share that once sacred sleeping-time with an infant that needs your attention.  We go into motherhood knowing this will be our fate as it is with all mothers universally.  But what about those other primal functions, like the need to use the bathroom?  Or shower?  Who knew that even the time and energy once devoted to those fundamental needs of being human would also be sacrificed for the sake of the little people in your life.   I have long given up trying to lock the bathroom door, because inevitably, my little person has the sudden urge to make sure that I still exist and have not abandoned them inexplicably.  And this of course can only be confirmed by seeing me- regardless of my current state.  There is no such thing as privacy for a mother of babes.   And the sooner you realize that, ...well... the sooner you realize it.  Unfortunately, in my experience, having this understanding does not change any of the necessary functions of being human or the time it takes to accomplish them.  As quickly as I rush, it is never fast enough.
       I could go on and on and on about all the facets, big and small, of a mother's life that are now shared with the little people in her world, but then there would be no time to contemplate what we get in return.  to narrow it down, what I really love the most is the sweet innocence of those eyes that contain not the slightest concern that I, their mother, will not share every single thing I have with them.  Those eyes that hold no doubt that whether it be food or time or energy or whatever, I will share as much as they need with them.  The twinkle when they see a treat and know undoubtedly that they not only get a bite, but "a really huge" bite and of course the last bite, or hear the bathroom door swing - oh boy- and know they get a little unconventional mama time as we discuss the intricate detail of the nemo fish on the hand soap bottle until it's time to flush, or during the middle of the night know that they will be nursed or rocked or snuggled until they are fast asleep.  I love knowing that they know that whatever I have is and always will be theirs.  I have come to accept and embrace and love, that what is mine, is now also theirs.